I was taking the hubby to work this morning (sometimes we think it's cool to carpool) when I heard tell of a really ridiculous story. There is a woman who is suing her alma mater for $70,000 because--get this--she can't find a job. Um, wtf? I think this lawsuit goes on the list right underneath suing McDonald's because they had the nerve to serve hot coffee. Frivolous is not a strong enough word to describe this stupidity, and I hope this suit never sees the inside of a courtroom. I wish that a judge would wipe his/her ass with the papers the suit is printed on. No. I hope that the attorneys for the school (and it doesn't matter what school it is!) revoke her degree, renounce her acceptance and sue her for attempting to represent herself as a graduate from the institution! What is the world coming to when you can sue your college because a company has the audacity to pass on offering you a job? Lady, I wouldn't hire you to walk my dog at this point because you are clearly unstable!

But, okay. For a moment, let me try to follow this woman's logic (snicker). The following is my updated life plan based on the flawed logic of an idiot who has proven to the world beyond a shadow of doubt that college isn't what it used to be:

I'll start by suing my high school. I went to school every day and made great grades. But they wouldn't let me be the Valedictorian because, well, someone had a higher GPA than I did at the end. Those assholes!

Next, I am going to sue Duke University for accepting me but not offering me enough scholarship money. They invited me to spend an entire weekend on campus. I met people, went to classes, and partied with upperclassmen. On the day that I came back home the thick enveloped stuffed with an embossed folder (which contained my acceptance letter) awaited me. They let me fall in love with their beauty and then snatched the rug out from underneath me. They owe me big time!

Then, I want to sue Harvard Medical School for not accepting me. Surely, if I had gone to Harvard, I would be a world-class physician today---maybe even a Nobel Laureate! I think it's safe to say that I would be a millionaire, so that would be a fair settlement offer, right?

Finally, I want to sue Oprah Winfrey for not choosing Hot Chocolate (available at www.tomikadmoody.com) for her book club. If Ms. Winfrey had chosen to feature my book, Tyler Perry would be making a movie of it as we speak! Again, I would have reached number one on the New York Times' Bestseller List which would make me a millionaire. But it's Oprah, so I have to sue her for more, right?

If all of this sounds ridiculous to you then you're totally getting my point. To sue your degree-granting institution because you can't land a job is like suing the Bass Corporation because you don't catch fish when you go fishing. It's stupid. For some reason, in this country we believe that that we don't have to work to achieve. Things should just be given to us based on charm and good looks. And when we don't get what we want, we cheat (play the race card, call the media, sue, etc.). Whatever happened to 'try, try again?' Whatever happened to do something else until that perfect job comes along? Is it really the university/college's fault that you suck at interviewing and can't close the deal? Is it possible that you were a subpar student and will probably be a subpar employee who clocks in late and leaves early and employers can smell it on you?

Lady, here's a tip: There are lots of jobs out there just waiting to be had. It might be a job that requires you to get on your knees (and scrub toilets) for a while or to flip burgers and wear a name tag, but it's an honest living. And a person who would rather sue for easy money than to stay on the grind isn't qualified to do much more in my opinion.

(*Note to any dumbass thinking of taking my comments out of context: I have no intention of filing any lawsuits against any of the aforementioned individuals or institutions.)