If you've never been so fired up about something that it was almost impossible for someone to calm you down, then you might not be able to relate to what happened on the Gov't Schools segment of Teeing Off On... (www.blogtalkradio.com/t-ingoff). Aside from the fact that "Murphy" showed up with an array of problems--switchboard acting funny, chat room entry being arbitrarily blocked--I was hit with a sudden wave of passion for the topic that the show outline promptly discarded along with the structure of the show! Suddenly, I felt like the kids in the school yard who were determined to fight no matter the consequences!

Instead of laying out the facts in a methodical fashion, I heard myself cut right to the chase. Parents are the link. They can be what's right with public schools and they are most certainly what's wrong. Did I absolve the teachers of their responsibilities? No. But who holds the power to keep teachers in check? The parents. Who has the power to put a stop to waste, fraud and abuse that school systems suffer at the hands of bureaucrats whose children don't even attend public school? You guessed it. The parents.

More often, though, who sits back and just take what's offered to them because it's free? Parents. I would argue that public education isn't free to begin with. You just don't pay for it until it jumps off track or until your child's failure turns him into a drain on society (i.e. can't get into college, find a job or get out of your house). But it's viewed as "free" because you doesn't have to write a monthly tuition check to the schools to cover the expenses of books and uniforms and food and transportation. So my question is, then, why would a parent feel that, for free, they are entitled to the very best of anything? Why expect that your child is receiving a top-notch education when you've turned control over to the government? When was the last time the government ran anything well?

I tend to believe that what's wrong with public education is the public. The public is the one of the few cases when the intelligence quotient decreases as the number of people increases. Because this is the case, the system caters to the lowest common denominator. The curriculum is watered down. The floor is lowered so that the ceiling looks higher. Kids graduate from high school and go on to college only to find they can't cut it. Who gets the blame? The teachers. But who's really to blame? The parents. The parents who blindly trusted that their kids were in the best hands because it's the school's job to educated their kids. The parents who were on auto-pilot, never setting foot inside the school to see what was going on, never checking up on their children or their children's teachers, never available for comment until something went wrong.

As a parent, and I am a parent of two school-age children, you have to be vigilant. If your going to trust the public school system (with all its superfluous accountability schemes and antiquated learning models) with your kids, the LEAST you can do is be involved in the process. Check into what your children are learning, attend PTA and School Board Meetings, pop up on your kids at school and see for yourself what goes on during the school day. If something is wrong, make your voice heard. Chances are you won't be the only parent who feels that way. Be the change you want to see in your community. Don't just armchair quarterback your way through your children's educations! You owe them more than that. Don't be fooled into believing that the political and/or budgetary bottom lines coincide with what's best for your children. You shouldn't have to move from a neighborhood you love in order to get your kids enrolled in a school you love.

You may, however, have to consider other options. If you are able, you may have to consider private school. But if you go this route, you should understand that many private schools mandate the level of participation that I mentioned earlier. So if you're that parent that believes the magic is in the bricks or the label, then don't waste your money on private school. Private schools thrive because they can tell you to keep your money and take your kid somewhere else. Private schools can look at your child's records and decide that he/she wouldn't be a "good fit" at their school. In other words, they can filter out the riff-raff. Public schools can't do that. Before enrolling your kid in a private school, ask yourself these tough questions: Have I allowed my child to become riff-raff? Do I plan to remain on auto-pilot? Do I think the magic is in the name? Is the problem with me and my kids or is it really the school?

The final option is home schooling. I currently home school my children because I felt that their needs were not being met at our local public school, and as I stated before, what I don't like about public schools is the public. I cannot control what others are teaching or not teaching their children at home, and I didn't feel it necessary to subject my children to an environment that could not meet their needs. Both kids came to school well-prepared (entered Kindergarten knowing how to read, write, and count), but, sadly, they were in a stark minority and were held back from reaching their potentials due to curriculum choices made by the system. As a former teacher, I realized that I could leave them in the system and run around behind them all the time, or--since I have the time and inclination--I could cut out the middle man and teach them myself. Now I am the person who has control of their educations. Whatever their needs may be (I have a free-spirited kid and a type A kid), I can meet them without feeling that I am leaving other children behind. They learn at a much faster pace, and we are able to utilize resources the public system couldn't due financial constraints or just plain short-sightedness!

Long story short, if you are a "do-nothing" parent, then it's you who should immediately dis-enroll your child from government controlled schools. You are the drain on the resources. Your kids are the problem in the classroom. Your kids are the reason that so many schools are failing. Your kids are the ones who are unmotivated to learn. And they learned it from you.

There was a time in the not too distant past when black people were made to do things differently and separately from white people. We had to sit on the back of the bus, enter restaurants through the back door, attend separate (and often subpar) schools, and sit in the balcony of theaters. Black actors caught hell trying to get legitimate work, and often black roles went to white people who put on black face. (I still remember seeing Othello played by Placido Domingo in the 12th grade---before the Laurence Fishburne version was released!) It was a forced separation, and even though things like that happened before my time, it still leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Unfortunately, that back door mentality didn't end with desegregation. Generations once removed from the Civil Rights struggle seem to have forgotten the lessons. And we as a people started doing it to ourselves. Instead of being forced to go through the back door, we started voluntarily going through the black door.

The black door. Black kids voluntarily sit on the back of the bus because it's cool. Black kids sit in the back of the classroom, act up, don't study, and don't achieve, not because they don't have access to good materials but because the opposite of those actions is considered to be assimilation, selling out, and acting white. The black door.

This blackened seasoning has also been sprinkled on the entertainment industry. Why, in the late 20th century and early 21st century, do we still feel that it's necessary to remake entertainment entities in the black image? And why do the perpetrators of this activity try to hide behind the idea that it's just "telling our story" especially when it usually means highlighting the negative stereotypes about black people?! One of my favorite examples of this activity is awards shows. I get the fact that black achievement is often overlooked at traditional awards ceremonies, but somewhere in the midst of trying to highlight the achievement we also manage to celebrate the very worst sides of black entertainment. The Source Awards, for example, are always punctuated by acts of violence before, during, or after the show in addition to expletive laced acceptance speeches and performances. In the same manner, the BET Awards also feature artists (and sometimes hosts) coming to the stage drunk, high, and showing off a cup of what they are drinking. Even if water is in the cup, these people portray a certain image that is considered appropriate for black people but really belies the black experience. The black door.

Furthermore, shows like Flava of Love, I Love New York, Hell Date which are patterned after insipid shows like The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, and Blind Date also showcase and thrive on the very worst of black behavior. Characters are often portrayed as uneducated, sex-hungry, alcoholics without a trace of decorum. The fact that it's great for ratings speaks directly to the power of the the black door mentality. It not only reinforces the negative stereotypes that were once wrongfully put into the ether by the white establishment, but also it sends the message that the stereotype is true.

At the end of Spike Lee's School Daze, Laurence Fishburne implored people to wake up! I am going to reiterate his sentiment and go a step further. Black people: Stop playing the victim! Just because there was a time when the only way to get noticed in an industry was to play a negative role (maid, downtrodden, ignorant, uneducated, thug, drug dealer, etc.) doesn't mean that embracing that notion as "the way black people act" is okay. Denigrating achievement, accusing black people who have achieved of selling out, and perpetuating the idea that you're not black if you speak English (not Ebonics), use LOL (not GNR), or don't like chicken and watermelon is counterproductive. We are intelligent, creative, and capable and so much better than proudly entering through the black door. Our parents and grandparents suffered numerous indignities and fought for their rights so that their children and grandchildren (us) could have opportunities to show their worth. They fought so that we could go through the FRONT door. Let's use it.

I have a problem. I realized recently that my brain 's hard drive does not automatically save all the fabulous ideas I have! At least twenty times a day, an idea for how to finish an existing story (that is supposed to become my next novel) or a new idea for a story pops into my head. I could be driving down the road and listening to a CD or actively tuning out the my kids' incessant chatter when, like a ton of bricks, an idea hits me!


I can't remember now that I'm at my computer because I thought of it while I was on my way to the grocery store. I remembered to get starch for the hubby (who reminded me three times before he left for work). I remembered to get stamps from the Post Office, though I don't remember why I needed three of them. I remembered that we needed black pepper and that I was supposed to remind the hubby to get a title of a book from his boss for me. Hell, I remember my senior year class schedule from high school---including who taught each class! But I can't remember what Tracy was going to say when confronted by the man she's loved she was a kid. And because I can't remember, every time I boot up the computer and try to write I loathe what pours forth onto the page. Seriously! I have deleted more words than I've written in the last few days.

So whose bright idea it was to equip computers with an "autosave" function but not my brain? Perhaps I should work on this type of technology. I am certain there is a market for it. There's no way that I am the only person this happens to. What's that? I should walk around with a digital recording device so that I can say my ideas out loud when I think of them? Yeah, right. Picture it: Sicily, 1935. A young girl is working on her father's fishing boat... (A Golden Girls reference. I couldn't resist! RIP Bea Arthur and Estell Getty). But, seriously, did you miss the part about being in a noisy car with music and chatty kids? I'm supposed to add fumbling in my purse---while I drive---to find a voice recorder? By the time I find it, I have every reason to believe that I will have forgotten what I wanted to record ... or be in a ditch! Plus, I have a digital recording device. It's called an iPhone. Please refer to the aforementioned noise and possibility of peril as I fumble for it when I need it.

No, hear me clearly. I need an "autosave" feature implanted into my brain. Post haste. I shouldn't call it writer's block. I should call it writer's amnesia. I can only pray that it's of the short term variety or I may never publish again.

Wait!

Tracy hits her head on the steering wheel during a car accident! She was trying to dictate notes into her digital recorder when she swerves off the road. David is the first on the scene to save her because he's ... a doctor.

Hmmmm ... Maybe I should I stop belly-aching and write that down.

I was taking the hubby to work this morning (sometimes we think it's cool to carpool) when I heard tell of a really ridiculous story. There is a woman who is suing her alma mater for $70,000 because--get this--she can't find a job. Um, wtf? I think this lawsuit goes on the list right underneath suing McDonald's because they had the nerve to serve hot coffee. Frivolous is not a strong enough word to describe this stupidity, and I hope this suit never sees the inside of a courtroom. I wish that a judge would wipe his/her ass with the papers the suit is printed on. No. I hope that the attorneys for the school (and it doesn't matter what school it is!) revoke her degree, renounce her acceptance and sue her for attempting to represent herself as a graduate from the institution! What is the world coming to when you can sue your college because a company has the audacity to pass on offering you a job? Lady, I wouldn't hire you to walk my dog at this point because you are clearly unstable!

But, okay. For a moment, let me try to follow this woman's logic (snicker). The following is my updated life plan based on the flawed logic of an idiot who has proven to the world beyond a shadow of doubt that college isn't what it used to be:

I'll start by suing my high school. I went to school every day and made great grades. But they wouldn't let me be the Valedictorian because, well, someone had a higher GPA than I did at the end. Those assholes!

Next, I am going to sue Duke University for accepting me but not offering me enough scholarship money. They invited me to spend an entire weekend on campus. I met people, went to classes, and partied with upperclassmen. On the day that I came back home the thick enveloped stuffed with an embossed folder (which contained my acceptance letter) awaited me. They let me fall in love with their beauty and then snatched the rug out from underneath me. They owe me big time!

Then, I want to sue Harvard Medical School for not accepting me. Surely, if I had gone to Harvard, I would be a world-class physician today---maybe even a Nobel Laureate! I think it's safe to say that I would be a millionaire, so that would be a fair settlement offer, right?

Finally, I want to sue Oprah Winfrey for not choosing Hot Chocolate (available at www.tomikadmoody.com) for her book club. If Ms. Winfrey had chosen to feature my book, Tyler Perry would be making a movie of it as we speak! Again, I would have reached number one on the New York Times' Bestseller List which would make me a millionaire. But it's Oprah, so I have to sue her for more, right?

If all of this sounds ridiculous to you then you're totally getting my point. To sue your degree-granting institution because you can't land a job is like suing the Bass Corporation because you don't catch fish when you go fishing. It's stupid. For some reason, in this country we believe that that we don't have to work to achieve. Things should just be given to us based on charm and good looks. And when we don't get what we want, we cheat (play the race card, call the media, sue, etc.). Whatever happened to 'try, try again?' Whatever happened to do something else until that perfect job comes along? Is it really the university/college's fault that you suck at interviewing and can't close the deal? Is it possible that you were a subpar student and will probably be a subpar employee who clocks in late and leaves early and employers can smell it on you?

Lady, here's a tip: There are lots of jobs out there just waiting to be had. It might be a job that requires you to get on your knees (and scrub toilets) for a while or to flip burgers and wear a name tag, but it's an honest living. And a person who would rather sue for easy money than to stay on the grind isn't qualified to do much more in my opinion.

(*Note to any dumbass thinking of taking my comments out of context: I have no intention of filing any lawsuits against any of the aforementioned individuals or institutions.)